I stop drinking!

January 1st

How decisions are taken.
How decisions are taken.

The morning after the Great New Year’s Eve Party! Or more accurately, the morning-after hangover! I celebrated too much, last night!  I ate too much, drank too much… Mainly, drank too much!  And, once again, I was one of the last to leave the party.  I ended up going to bed at the time I usually wake up.  And I feel like I didn’t sleep at all.  It was as if the party kept going all night in my head…  This morning, actually this afternoon, I ache all over.  It’s not just a hangover headache, it’s a hangover all-over-ache!

Every time I go to a party, I tell myself the same thing:  “Tonight, I’m going to be careful.  Only one glass of wine…  Or, maybe two…  But no more!” But after one or two, well…I forget to count and I keep drinking.  It’s great while I’m at the party. It doesn’t even feel like I’m drinking too much. However, the day after is another story. It’s awful. And the more the years go by, the more my hangovers are difficult. I realize, once again, that I can’t keep going on like that. I really cant! And that’s how I came up with my New Year’s resolution for 2014!

                   I’M GOING TO STOP DRINKING FOR ONE YEAR!

It shouldn’t be too hard.  A year without alcohol, now that’s a good resolution!  This is going to help me get back in shape. Also, having clearer ideas all year long, without the fog of alcohol, that should help me do a little introspection, to find myself, to see myself clearly.

A mirror's harsh truth.
1 pm. A mirror’s harsh truth.
2 pm. First hesitations.
2 pm. First hesitations.
2:30 pm. I'll be able to do it. I'm strong!
2:30 pm. I’ll be able to do it. I’m strong!
3 pm. No-Yes I'm weak! I'm strong!
3 pm. No-Yes I’m weak! I’m strong!

The day is going by and it seems to me that from one hour to the next, I find myself rethinking my decision.  And just as I’m getting ready to leave home…

5 pm. Yes-No. More hesitations
5 pm. Yes-No. More hesitations

So, I leave for my New Year’s Eve dinner, full of optimism…  As soon as I get there, I don’t even had time to take off my tuque that somebody is offering me a glass of wine.  The first thing everybody seems to notice when they see me is that I don’t have anything to drink.  So, I take a glass of sparkling water in a beautiful big wine glass, which I keep in full view, brandishing it in front of myself like a shield.  From the moment, I have a glass in my hand, all is well.

My little trick worked well except that, all evening… well, all I could think of was how good it would be to drink a cold glass of white wine.  I kept questioning my decision…  “Just one glass” I was saying to myself.  “After all, it’s New Year’s Eve!”

What kept me from giving in and drinking a glass of wine?  Maybe the surprise of realizing just how difficult an evening without alcohol was?   Maybe also the thought of the disappointment that I would have felt if I hadn’t been able to keep my resolution?  I don’t really know.

But I did it! I’ve just finished my first day without alcohol.  I’m happy, proud of myself, and a little sad, too.  But… I wonder if it’s such a good resolution, to stop drinking for a year.  Is it really necessary?  Useful?  But, it’s true that it’s helping me to see more clearly into myself.  I’ve already made an important discovery: I’m very changeable!

I'm very changeable!
I’m very changeable!